Patti stanger internet dating tips
Even Millennials, who have marinated in feminist dogma their entire lives, are tuning in: The show’s most-watched episode, which aired in late March, drew 2.2 million viewers, including 1.2 million in the coveted 18-to-49-year-old demographic.
On each episode, Stanger sets up two of her millionaire clients, usually two men, handpicking about a dozen potential women for them to choose from before asking each to settle on one for a full-fledged date.
And he isn’t attracted to the spunky woman he chose for his date, either.
“Well, if the two people are subdued, they might as well be corpses in the ground,” Stanger says.
Stanger’s goal is to get them married, and that requires the delivery of some harsh Stanger truths. You guys didn’t even know each other, you moved too fast.
Men must become “hunters.” Women must curb their “male energy.” And the use of her services (which, depending on the client, can include personal coaching, therapy, psychic readings, and lessons in flirtation) requires adherence to a sacred rule: No sex, of any sort, before monogamy. ” Well, Stanger discovers, he said he might want that “eventually.” “Okay, well, that’s a bunch of baloney,” the matchmaker says. You could spend more time buying a house or a car in this economy or a mortgage than doing something like that. You should have slowed it down and done the courtship thing.” One can almost visualize the women of America nodding in appreciative agreement.
I don’t like that the other side needs to have looks. Stanger regularly doles out beauty advice that many women are resistant to hearing: “Curly hair is like redheads — they just don’t get a lot of play,” she told the The age-old system in which women exerted great control over dating and romance by making men wait for sex has largely vanished. The men hold the reins: In a culture saturated by casual sex, there’s little incentive for them to learn how to romance women. Without rules, religious or social, to guide them, many women — and some men, too — find that dating has devolved into groping around in a dark closet, a confusing and often painful search for principles to guide the interactions between the sexes. She is the doyenne of what Alexis de Tocqueville called mores, which he defined largely as the “habits of the heart.” In America, Tocqueville said, “it is woman who shapes these mores,” through her clear-eyed view of the “vices and dangers of society.” The American woman, unlike the European, wasn’t sheltered or protected, so she developed a “singular skill” and “happy audacity” for navigating these vices and dangers, and an ability to steer her “thoughts and language through the traps of sprightly conversation.” As a result, “she is full of confidence in her own powers.” Though Tocqueville wrote in the mid 19th century, his words aptly describe Stanger.
Her mother and grandmother reveled in pairing up singles at the local synagogue, she tells me, and is peppered with Yiddishisms.